How Meditation Changed My life

It’s easy to get discouraged when things are not going the way you planned, especially when you find yourself wondering if you'll ever be good enough to achieve your dreams. With so many changes taking place in my life recently (as I’m sure many of us can relate), I found myself falling into the trap of negative emotions and self-doubt. Thoughts have the power to destroy you if you don't know how to cope with them, and I knew I had to do something with these negative emotions before I reached that point.

 I knew I had to re-set and refocus my energy, but how?

 I know there are a lot of skeptics when it comes to meditation. In fact, I used to be one.  (Life has a funny way of being ironic, doesn’t it?) 

 I used to think meditation was a bunch of BS. I thought I “wasn’t good at it” because I couldn't sit still for more than a few seconds. I was convinced meditation wasn’t for me. Until I hit rock bottom.

 I went through some pretty big life changes over the past few years. My parents separated, I moved five times, I changed my major in my last year in school, I started a new job and started to pursue my passion for wellness. For a long time, I felt small and like I wasn’t good enough. There were times where I was suffering from anxiety attacks almost daily.

 2017 was the worst year of my life, but it was the best year for self-growth. It was the year I finally said enough is enough and decided to genuinely make self-care a priority. I researched,  downloaded apps, and read books about meditation, self-help, and positivity. 

 Prior to my mission for self-love, I was the most negative person I knew. I hated that I continuously let myself fall into the same cycle over and over again, but I couldn’t figure out how to pull myself out of it. I could hide behind a smile and a bubbly attitude around my family, friends, and coworkers, but the truth is I felt broken on the inside. 

 My journey with meditation has given me my power back. It taught me to control my emotions, feelings, and thoughts so they do not have control over me anymore. I learned that meditation is about changing your relationship with your thoughts, and dealing with your emotions as they are in the present moment. That is how I gained my sense of power. 

​Here is a breakdown of what I’ve learned about meditation, and how it has changed my life for the better: 

1. Meditation is about witnessing your thoughts without resistance or reacting

 At first, I wanted to find ways I could get rid of anxiety and negative feelings. I quickly realized that isn’t how feelings work. Trying to get rid of my anxiety resulted in it becoming worse. It was after I came to terms with the fact that my anxiety will likely never go away that I was able to cope and change my relationship with it. Meditation started working after I stopped resisting my feelings and began to come to terms with them. 

 Mindfulness is the ability to be completely present without resisting or trying to change the current situation. It’s about letting your feelings flow exactly as they are, and being curious about them. This allows us to acknowledge how we feel without acting on them irrationally. 

 So, do I still feel anxious sometimes? Of course! The difference now is that it doesn't have the power to control me anymore. I am able to step out of my comfort zone and have the courage to chase the goals I want to achieve without being overwhelmed by feelings of self-doubt. When I begin to feel anxious, I tell myself these three key things: 

    - I’ve been here before, I’ve felt this feeling before (and survived).

    - *Inhale* feel whatever you feel *Exhale* let it go.

    -It’s okay that you feel like this, you know it will pass.

2. The Importance of the breath

I initially gave up meditation the first week I started because I kept getting distracted. I would get bored and agitated. By learning the importance of breath, I was able to connect more easily with my meditation practice. 

 By focusing on the breath, you become aware of the mind’s tendency to jump from one thought to another. A lot of people think they are meditating wrong when they get distracted. However, meditation is all about getting distracted and finding your way back to your breath. 

 Being mindful of the breath connects us to our body and helps to develop deep insight into enlightenment. Breathing is a tool to help ease and strengthen the mind. 

3. Happiness is trainable 

 I used to believe I would be happy after I achieved the next big thing in my life. However, whenever one goal was reached, I was immediately onto the next one as I looked for my next taste of instant gratification. I realized true happiness isn’t possible with an unappreciative mindset. 

 Everything I achieved, accomplished, and created was never enough and I was never truly happy. I was never proud of anything I accomplished because my mind was always focused on the next task I needed to complete. I slowly began to learn that happiness is actually a trainable skill. You have to exercise it the same way you would exercise your muscles at the gym. Like anything, practice makes perfect. 

 Starting out small, I would meditate and think about at least one thing that I was genuinely happy about. The goal is to think about things that truly bring you happiness in your life right now. This could be something that happened during the day, the people you love, a memory, your dog, anything that brings you joy. The best way to find happiness is to express gratitude for the things you already have in your life. 

 Write a list of gratitude. Every time you find yourself in a rut or feeling unhappy, refer back to your list of all the positive aspects in your life. I knew in order for me to be the person I wanted to be and to genuinely enjoy my accomplishments, I had to learn how to be content with my life as it is in the present moment. Happiness begins with where you are now in your life. Remember, we are human beings, not human doings. Sometimes it is more important to just “be” than it is to “do.” 

4. Your mindset changes your entire perspective

A negative mind will never give you a positive life. However, changing to a positive mindset isn’t always a simple task. Anyone who deals with feelings of anxiety knows the struggle of trying to get out of your own head, it can be extremely challenging. A lot of us try to avoid, distract, and resist our thoughts, which only make them hit us harder, later. We hold everything in, and then we break down.

 Meditation connects you to your feelings and helps you channel them differently. If I enter a meditation frustrated or anxious, I simply call out the way I am feeling. I focus on my breath and let the anxious or frustrated feeling fade in the background. Once you let go of the feeling, you come to a place of stillness where you can rationalize your actions and change your perspective. Changing your perspective on your thoughts changes your perspective on your life. Although negative thoughts may still be present in the background, they no longer have control over how you react.

5. Meditation helps you manifest the life you want

 Clearing my mind and refocusing my energy has allowed me to align my goals and desires to fulfill the life that I want. Every time I used to think negatively about an aspect of my life, I used to believe “that’s just the way it is.” The problem with that mindset is that if you never let yourself dream bigger than your current reality, you’ll never grow out of it.

 Your thoughts and emotions create your reality. Therefore, you create what you decide to focus on. If I didn’t figure out a way to control the thoughts I focus on, I would have never been able to pursue a lot of really amazing aspects of my life including starting a business or even writing this blog post. 

 You are what you think. Of course, it isn’t possible to be positive all the time. Allow yourself to still feel unpleasant emotions when they arise. Scream, cry, even punch a pillow if you need to, then let it go. Sit down, close your eyes and remember why you’re doing everything you’re doing and remind yourself why it’s worth it. Get excited about your life! Use your imagination to explore yourself living your best life. Then ask yourself how you can live your best life in the present moment. 

6. Take care of yourself so you can help others 

 A lot of us spend most of our time helping others before we help ourselves. It’s great to want to help others, but remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I found that meditation has helped me take better care of myself, so I have more energy to help others. You may look at self-care as a luxury or an act of selfishness, but the opposite is actually true. 

 If you really want to help others effectively, it takes a certain amount of energy and clarity. Meditating once a day has allowed me to be mindful of other perspectives, to give thoughtful advice, and to listen with clear and purposeful intention. I encourage you to practice some form of self-care once a day, whether its meditation, taking a bath, painting, going for a walk, etc. 

Meditation has brought so much peace into my life. It has been such a liberating experience to learn how to manage an aspect of my life that once had such a hold on me and I believed was impossible to change. My journey through meditation is ongoing, as I believe we always have more to learn and more room to grow. However, I hope that by sharing my experience with meditation, it will bring you a sense of hope in knowing that change is possible. You can overcome anything, even your thoughts. 

 Love and light,

Julia